WAS or what (2)

[roist]

Looking around it is disheartening to see so many couples unhappy or splitting. For better or worse is what we sign up for. The way I look at it if we get through this we can only be better.

Thank you again for your words of support. I was tired yesterday and got thinking of what lies ahead. I am not afraid of her leaving and could live with having the boys every second week. What got to me was that I am fairly sure we will be still together at the end of the year and that means going through our 9th wedding anniversary, our 20th year together and Christmas. I know I can get through them but to do that again after last year is daunting and I think mostly because a year later and still in same position....... although I am improving.

Anyway a lot can happen between now and then.

To answer the question about how to be happy I am asking myself what I want today/this week for my happiness and I try to do whatever I answer. My main problem is being tired which really zaps pleasure out of stuff. I don't sleep well, not due to anxiety but more so because I have to fight my natural urge to be in contact with my w in bed and hence am not as comfortable.

Anyway I know I have the gift of time and as long as I can support it I have the time to improve much more. Looks like we will be going home for s wedding inoctober just the two of us. She said if I wanted to go she was going. There are many instances like that that she could easily back out of, insist on bringing boys, or show reluctance. But she doesn't.