I have not done anything different except stay the course which was the plan all along. My hair is the same, weight is down but normalish, clothes are the same, same value system, all systems normal for me.
She is the one with the complete about face on everything, marriage, kids, values, etc...
She is going through something that I just don't understand but I guess I don't have to. She is a free agent and can do what she wants.
I am sitting back and watching all of this unfold and it's been interesting to say the least. It is true that truth is stranger than fiction.
You've grown in so many ways as a friend, mother, colleague, employee, etc, etc. Just because you may look similar, you are NOT the same person she BD'd.
more independant more self respect realize the situation is not my fault am a better mother am a better listener have gotten closer to God have made "me" friends
That's just a few of the new me changes. But yes, internal growth has emerged .... surprise surprise. I would have sworn months ago that this was just not possible. But it is. Working the plan, accepting that we all have no control over others, realizing what baggage we have. All of that insight. How I only wish I knew all of this before BD.
It is sometimes hard to notice the changes in ourselves that occured as a result of our sitch. We overlook it because we are so focused on our S. Way to take stock of yourself, Heavy. this morning, I was telling my sister that I don't feel I have changed at all. You may even see it reflected in some of my posts. Heavy, I am inspired. I am going to think of all the ways I have changed in a positive way.
As an aside, I like that concept of "me" friends. I have some too now.
W calls around 5 and says she is stopping by to pick up kids bag. I said sure, it's at the front counter (as always).
I work late tonight - about 5:40.
I leave work, get in my car and start to drive home. W calls "Where are you, kids wanted to see you?"
Me - "What? I didn't know you had them with you."
W - "Oh that explains why you left."
Me - "No, I always leave at 5, just didn't expect you that's all."
W - "kids are hungry, I'm getting supper for them at the cafe.
Me - "Oh, well, let me turn the car around and I will join you."
We met, had dinner, kids gave me a big hug, told W all abuot our two weeks adventure and we ate. This was the first time we had supper together as a family in months. This was the first time W and I actually talked. I kept it light and breezy, told some funny stories about our trip, showed W some vacay photos on phone. I kept convo on kids and upcoming Doctor appointments.
Wife asked if I wanted to share her drink, I said "no thanks, I'm good." We used to always share drinks. She must have said that out of habit.
We got up, walked out together and that was that. Hugged kids, said bye to W and got into car.
Just so unexpected. I will try to not overthink it.
