thanks painter glad to answer anytime I feel the more info I can give the more help I can receive! Please continue helping me along my journey! IC problem is i tend to focus more on the relationship and its problems more than focusing on myself. I guess that can be turned into a goal. Work on me! Technically word wise we are split up. He does not refer to me as his gf or anything like that He refers to her as his gf. Now if you look at it from the other side his family knows very little about what is going on they still think we are together, the kids still think we are together, FB says we are still together, we still ML sometimes but we do NOT kiss hold hands and he does not say ILY. I will put my arm around him at night sometimes, we used to up until recently still sit on couch together and that kind of stuff. Due the fighting lately some of that has stopped. He does still give me a one arm half hug unless he is mad. we still pay bills together live together share a room take care of kids together. So I am sure you get the point. Verbally and emotionally we are not together Action/living wise IDK. Feel free to let me know what it is we are doing as some clarification would be nice. As for OW knowing. I would guess he tells her we dont share a room, or any of the other. He did give me a half hug infront of her though? I assume she does not go through his phone so she would not see any of my ILY messages. I would assume he tells her what she wants to hear. That he just cant get me out I wont leave All the typical A things they say. But I can not say for sure. The only things I know for sure is it is hidden from our kids and his family. He says her H knows but IDk for sure. they are out on the town all the time so I would assume he does. I do also know she has told her kids about it and they have talked about living together with all the kids (6) in his 3 bedroom trailer. I would not assume she knows anything about us knowing him. He will lie to her. That is why I am so puzzled! Does he love her like he says is he planning a life with her? They did say ILY after just two weeks or a month. I know that for sure. they happen to stay at a mutual friends house who supports what is going on. Its the OW best friend. Here is another fact about this crazy sitch. The OW is Best friends with a girl that H and I were really close with. Sometimes I feel like that is what is keeping A alive. He can not leave her without looking like a jerk because she is a friend of the friend. Plus they can all go out as a group of 4. I think it just adds to the complications. But who knows maybe he does love her idk. Technically speaking Neither of us have rights to the house. His mom owns the house we make payments straight to her. But we all know she would side with him no matter how close we are. she refuses to be any part of this mess though as she loves me like a daughter I lived with her when I was still in HS. All of the vehicles are in his name and car insurance. Bills are in both our names and CC's are seperate. the problem I am having with seperating kids like that is the kids have no idea what is going on due to us "playing"house. We do everything the same except no kissing and lately less ML and cuddling. Everything else is the same. I am trying to keep the kids out of it as long as I can so IF my some miracle we do work on things or this A ends they do not have to feel the pain. I have been very strict on OW not being around the kids. He has been using it against me lately telling me I can not tell him what to do with his kids and they are going to be together for a long time so the kids may as well meet her and blah blah. But I am hoping that does not happen. So far I have just told him I had plans with them so he will leave it alone. It is only when he is mad he will say stuff like he is taking them with them. Should I continue protecting the kids or just let him hurt them? I feel like A has gone on long enough maybe it really is a realtionship to them??? I have a hard time with that due to how H and I still live but maybe. Or maybe they are still in fog because they have no responsibilities. IDK I just want the A to end. Knowing him as long as I have and been through this. He would not take care of his daughters. OW does not work she babysits for mutual friend so he would just have her do it. I struggle with this because mom of youngest took me a long time to build relationship with so If i stop doing this and OW takes over she is going to be hateful for one and for two IF we worked things out I would be at square one with her again too. Really I am trying to buy as much time as I can keeping things for the kids "normal"on an IF. I know probably not likely. but the more damage control for kids I can do I feel better. He usually moves whomever he is with in right away. could be why he keeps pressuring me to leave her divorce could be finalized and idk what he plans are. I have heard she plans to continue living with husband but that is through the rumor vine. so who knows. Idk how they all plan living in 3 bedrooms! But who knows. I am not sure what to think about it all. Everything says most affairs end in 6 months we are going on a year? So is it a real relationship?

Last edited by 4mykid; 07/21/15 03:19 AM.

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