Walk away wife and my journey

[25yearsmlc]

Sandi2 you are correct on so many different levels

All I know is what I am doing right now is not working --

when you say "not working", you mean she's not recommitted to the marriage yet?

FYI even if you were doing exactly what she needed and wanted you to do, regardless of her words, I mean even if you were reading her mind and heart and doing it all, just perfectly, you'd still need to be doing it all for a LOT longer
before she buys into it.

Without sufficient time passage, I'd think nothing would appear to be "working" --- so please please adjust your timeline. Truly.
you may ask, but For how long?

Well, whatever you think you could handle in terms of time....plan on doing this for that long --

and now, multiply that by 10 for your goal timeline. Check my signature block - I was at this for a good 2 and a half years.

Don't be discouraged by that^^ comment. If you are GAL for real, then your life will improve and be so much better than it has been, you'll be happier and the time will pass faster than you may realize.


She has just been out clubbing the once so far and she asked a close male,friend to come along to keep the men away .. The chap that she asked to go with her and her friends is a close friend and we have both know him for many many years he is our children's god father and he and his wife are very happily married. She sees him as a brother and I do know this for sure.

With my actions I do not want to push her away or for her to go down the path way of selling our family hoe and buying 2 lesser properties

One of the things she told me that led to the breakup was Me not doing enough arround the house

For the record, I DO think you should keep doing things around the house b/c you were always supposed to help out, but you didn't before.

NOT helping isn't going to do anything positive, and I can imagine how negatively it'll be viewed by her. However, you're correct when you say that helping around the house has not made her change her mind about the marriage. (yet)

So my question for you is, were you helping out with the house you all share, ONLY b/c you wanted her to return to the marriage?

OR did you think it was something you wished you had been doing all long, and b/c it's the right thing to do?

Suggestion: Separate the things you are doing b/c they're overdue, from the things you are doing solely to get her back AND which you do not feel obligated to do as a partner and co-parent.

Then Keep doing what you should have been doing all along b/c it's the right adult thing to do, AND at least it takes that piece of her reasoning, off the table.

Alone, of course it won't fix your marriage but if you listen to the advice you are getting about becoming the man she fell in love with,GAL, along with helping out as you should, you have your best chance of saving this.

It's not a guarantee, but there never was a guarantee.

All we can help you do, is give you your best shot.



But,as I say things are not working right now


The marriage has not been saved yet, that's true. But that does not mean to stop doing what you want to do more of and what you should have done more of, before.

Make sense? This isn't over til YOU say it is. 9 years ago I told my sisters my m was over and when they asked if I was sure, I said "there is maybe 10% we can save this. I'm done" and I was originally the LBSer.

There is hope.




Will post again in the morning,need to really think what it is I need to be doing right now

Many thanks
Gary