WAW Filed for D the Next Day Part 12 (Bob)

[Painter]

Hi Bob,

This may seem completely out of the blue, but I read some of your threads and I wanted to comment on something, because I think it might give you an idea for a 180... I've been trying to find the right way to say this for a couple of days. And it may have come up before, I have not read all your threads!

I read some of your quoted communication with W and I think I perceived something of what W might feel. I went back to your earliest thread and saw that I was right on - you posted that she had complained about exactly that.

My thought was - if you can banish the notion of your W as a patient, as a woman with MS, and think of her only as a woman you are attracted to for x reasons, you might be able to change something in your interaction. Putting myself in her shoes, I would want a husband, not a caretaker. Yes, a husband should be supportive and caring, but if you get locked in the roles of patient and caretaker, it can become quite unbalanced.

I was talking to the priest at my church about it the other day - he and his wife of 23 years have just separated - and we broached on the issue that sometimes a very capable partner can make their partner feel incompetent or less, even when the intentions are the very best...