I think it is tough to survey whether the DB techniques work or not based on posts on a BB. I think many who do reconcile stop posting on here 1) Because they think they are cured and don't need to anymore, or 2) so it doesn't seem like rubbing it in everyone's faces that their lives have turned around. I'd like to think if my W and I reconcile, that I will still post for awhile to give people encouragement, but I also wouldn't want to seem like I'm gloating or overconfident either.
It's definitely a mindset that is hard to grasp. We are conditioned to tell ourselves if my wife cheats, I'm outta here, but in reality, it is hard to leave. Sitting around being a doormat and begging for her back and to leave OM is usually where most of us start, and then learn the DB techniques to give us the best chance. Since there is no magic powder to sprinkle around, it ends up being W's ultimate choice whether to come back or not. The hardest part is not being in control of that situation. The DB techniques are something we can do to increase the chances and make it all hurt a little less.
