Through all this reading I am learning so much about my behavioral patterns. It's amazing to see the results of practicing my changes, in myself/how I feel and in the situations around me. Feels so much saner!
Meanwhile H continues to stick his head out further. On Sun. he mentioned that he now hates the room he is sleeping in (downstairs bedroom). I was quiet/said nothing/just listened.
I wanted to tell him he could move back into the bedroom but I am hesitant to stick my neck out and invite him back. Maybe he feels the same? Any advice here if he mentions it again? I don't want to initiate any R talk but want to move things along where it makes sense. In the end he said maybe he would just move his desk to another part of the house to give himself a break from the room. I listened here too. Maybe he was waiting for an invitation back?
Advice needed is: how do I encourage w/out pressuring or scaring him away. I would rather take it slow and do it right then rush and botch everything up.
He consistently initiates doing more with us as a family.
On Sun. he suggested kids go to friends' houses and we do something together w/o kids. We went out for the day together. This was one of his chief complaints pre BD-that we weren't putting our R first. And he was right. So when he suggested it I validated and said: great idea! And arranged for kids to go elsewhere.
It felt like a date but odd because we've been there, done that. He carried some of my stuff to the beach like he used to do. We went to lunch afterwards. It was raining so he left me inside while he picked up the car. He said he should take me out to lunch soon. I said that would be nice. This is a 180 as at BD 2 he venomously told me (with shark eyes) that he was done with the whole going to lunch together bit.
We are going away for my birthday/summer vacation. H has said several times he hopes I have a nice time. Seems to want to please me. I know: zero expectations and act "as if." But, can't help wondering: is he seeing me as wife, gf or mother?
He showed pictures of upcoming trip accommodations to me and kids. Categorically said: this is where your mom and I will sleep - one bed in separate room from kids.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
