Heading toward affair- what to do?

[hopeOK]

I personally think you need to take a step back and not step onto the dance floor with him so often.

1. He isn't ready to work on the marriage, he will come to you when he is.

2. EA or PA.... What's the difference? He isn't "in" the marriage while either one is going on.

3. If he is only going to give you $$ for necessities NOW and I can't stress this enough NOW is the time to see a lawyer and if you have to file for legal separation (doesn't mean you have to divorce) to get a court ordered child support AND support payments for YOU. The court will take into account you are a SAHM and he will be required to "maintain" the household for a period of time.

Do NOT let him turn things around so you feel like you are doing anything wrong.

I have definitely considered that I shouldn't have addressed his going somewhere else on Friday... and then setting my boundary in the morning about it not being ok. But then last night he was the one to initiate that. I thought that was progress as he hasn't wanted to talk about this whole deal much. But in obsessing over it today, it seems he is still very conflicted on what he wants to do & last night the main thing that happened was him gaining some control back and me feeling totally lost.

I do still intend to visit a lawyer & see what my rights are. I do want that knowledge. I am waiting for a call back from one now.

Yes, that is true, EA or PA doesn't matter... I think I was getting wrapped up in whether his contact w/ her was infrequent friendship things (still not acceptable) or an all out EA.

I don't feel like I am doing anything wrong... but I do feel like I am walking on egg shells... so I guess I am caring too much about what he is doing and going to do.