Just a few things over the weekend. W and I did not have a good Friday, seems the temp checks and testing continues. She sill ramp up and spin and now a days I will just let her, calm cool and honestly bored with the dramatics that follow as they have been predictable. We did make time to do our homework ... one W picked out and it was on the topic of things in our past we need to work on and get through individually. So I chose the A, and explained what I need to do personally in a non-judgemental way. We discussed it a bit and W actually had a change in her attitude and asked how she can 'do better' as did I ... was a good talk, these have been the case lately ... We have some friction, and we might have a blow up, then things cool and we talk it out. Much better improvement over the Old M.
Saturday was a good day .. W was being very nice, making an effort to be more affectionate. We discussed a few things .. just lightly about the R and the M ... and a bit about S at how much better he seems to be as the environment has been much more stable. We did some work on the balcony, W asked me to help with the plants (She kills anything green) so we spruced up the area I washed the patio off and replanted some pots, as she did up the chairs with new cushions ... reminded me of the old days when we would tackle a project that brought out our strengths and helped the other in a weaker area. After we sat out and enjoyed the space till it rained and hurried inside. W mentioned how it was really starting to feel like 'home' finally, stuck me as strange as she has been there almost 2 years now, my look must have been evident and she said to me 'its more like home now since you are here' ... caught me off-guard.
Sunday morning I woke early, walked the dog, went to my place and changed into my football gear, came back and picked up S as he wanted to go ... giving W her much desired 'space' ... I played well .. even did a pick up game after. Took S out for Shakes then picked up a couple items for the Balcony-Project. Took a shower once home and helped S rebuild the set our Blind dog accidentally destroyed.
Here is where things got a little tense. So while looking for the instructions on his set I notice there are text message alerts on the iPad, which is linked to my account on my phone. I have turned this off 3 times now but some how it continues to be switched back on. W arrived home and I was still processing if I should bring this up... or let it go. The 'Friend' OM2 thing has been tugging at my pant leg ... not obsessed but something I have been figuring out how to approach. W asks me whats up and I told her we could talk about it later, or now .. I do not want to fight I just wanted to clear some things up that have not been resolved since the blow up from 2 weeks ago. She started spinning up with the "What is it now" so I told her ... nope, I am not starting a discussion off like that. She apologized and told me she was frustrated that I was sitting down as she loaded in her clothes that she bought. I almost laughed .. then pulled out my truth dart bag and ran through my day ... ya know .. the one where I had S all day and was happy with that as she got 'her' time to do as she wanted and the fact I had been at it non stop till about 10 minutes prior to this convo, and if she needed help she could politely ask as I am not the 'on call pack mule' she immediately stopped and apologized. So back to the thorn. I told her about the iPad messaging being turned back on, which I honestly have no problem with, if she would like to read all my texts, browser history she was more than welcome (I am only concerned about the DB forum ... but do not surf here much on my phone) However ... if I was to be fully transparent then so is she. (She values her privacy far more than I do). She started getting upset but grabbed her phone and gave it to me, just as she did some guy TM her .. I did not read it but it was about job networking ... then I proceeded to show her how I knew she was deleting OM2's texts and calls. She told me she was doing this because of me being insecure and jealous (OM2 has fed her this line) So I stopped her right there and told her she could do as she wants and so could I ... a jealous insecure person would not be honest and tell her this does not work for him and walk away. I also pointed out if she felt there was nothing wrong with what she was doing .. why delete it? We went back and forth a bit ... bottom line I told her I believed that OM2 was friend-zoned, however from my perspective deleted calls/texts were not in line with the Open and Honest boundary I set back when she came to me to 'work on our M' ... and if this was a deal breaker for her so be it I would be better off walking as I was back earlier in the year. I told her there is no need to fight and get nasty, I was not telling her who could be a friend and who could not ... but I will not try to rebuild a M with secrets, lies and deceit at the beginning. She was a bit cold after that for a bit, I walked the dog .. offered to leave if she did not want me there, seems she was concerned about how S would handle that. We watched a movie together and she calmed down some .. even joked with me a bit here and there ... later in the night .. must have started stewing about it as she was cold again. I did not pursue .. infact I opted to sleep on the couch for a bit ... woke her to say goodbye as I left this morning. She texted me about what she was doing today some .. nothing big .. but the tension seems to still be there.
Bottom line .. I do not think OM2 is a threat, I do however think W and he spend a good deal of time talking and conversing ... after all that has happened I have an ear on the EA/PA angle. I am just not going to go back to secrets and things hidden... been there ... done that .. no thanks I had plenty of that ride the first time around.
