After 53 posts and she pulls the friendship card, you are finally ready to commit to DBing. Okay, so when this week goes by without any positive "signs" that going dark is working, will you still be committed?
I am just trying to get you to understand that this may take a very long time. There are no shortcuts. There will be long stretches of time that you won't see any positive signs from her. That does not mean DBing isn't working. She has to work through her stuff. If this was just about your faults, then it would be a snap to fix things, right?
You hear this a lot around the board, improvements are for you. Very true, indeed, b/c your changes do not ganantee to bust the D. Yes, they were an issue for her in the past, but now she has become wayward and has her mind on someone else. Things are more complicated. She is not seeing this stitch with the same viewpoint as you.
The A is not over as long as they are contacting each other. There is a story on the board where the WW ended her EA (seems like almost a year) but continued to watch OM's FB. Just looking at his pictures would trigger her feelings for him. She has made no progress b/c she refuses to stop looking at his pictures.
You have been operating mostly out of your emotions, just as a WW does. She's not the only one who is bouncing all over the place. You would do well to lean how to start operating based on what you know and the advice from the board, not what you feel. feelings are fickle, and they can mess up the DB ground you may cover.
Don't give up, but do try to think with a different mindset.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
