Lost & confused

[Clairee]

Hi Bob! Thanks for stopping by. Yes the massage was well worth the soreness. I have been so tense for so long & she really went to work on all the knots.

Yesterday was a great day. H & I participated in a school supply drive on of the local motorcycle clubs was having then went to the annual bike blessing. When the minister got to H's bike, he started to bless the bike & H called me over & asked the minister to bless us both. Very shocked & thrilled by this. H normally doesn't ask for him to be blessed, just the bike & he's never included me in it. We spent about 8 hours on the bike in total yesterday. H was very different all day. He never left me to wander off. He stayed pretty close all day. He made sure I always had bottled water or anything he thought I would want. There were a few times I would see another club President or a new club President & would point them out, give H the rundown & send him over to make introductions or renewed contact. In this world, it's important Presidents recognize each other out of respect. So I didn't want him missing someone & an issue come up later. When we got home, H thanked me several times for keeping him up to speed with the other clubs, he's been off island for 9 months & a lot has changed. He told me it really felt like we were a team again & it felt good. I felt the same way. Prior to hm leaving, he didn't involve me much in that kind of stuff. When we would go to these events, I would hang out with the other wives/gfs/flavors of the month, while he wandered around. We would barely speak all day. It was very different yesterday. He held my hand & led me through the crowds, introduced me to everyone he talked to & was attentive.

Sometimes I feel like we're turning the corner, but I'm so afraid to trust it. I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt again, blindsided again & betrayed again. We have our first MC this week. Fingers crossed it goes well.

Take care everyone!