My criteria was my unwillingness to be sloppy seconds for anyone. I will not ML with my W until I am certain that the EA with the OM is over.
I will accept a hug from her, but I do not initiate it.
When she asks why I am not ML with her I reiterate the above and she usually gets mad. However, that is one boundary I am unwilling to move on.
I think this is a good boundary. Last night my H brought up my refusal... he was hurt by it & took it as me not wanting to work on the marriage. it was like he saw it as him reaching out to me to try and work on the relationship. I explained that I wasn't rejecting him, I would very much like to ML w/ him & that he is all I want. But while knowing he is in contact w/ the OW, I have to set that boundary. Why did I leave that conversation feeling bad?! I guess b/c I do not want to reject him as he does suffer from low self-esteem... but at the same time, it is not ok what he is doing. He said that he is not one to sleep w/ someone who he does not have strong feelings for & has never been that way. I guess this was supposed to reassure me that he has strong feelings for me?
T: 14 M: 12 D: 9 S: 6 BD: 2/18/15 (H affair) Working on marriage: 3/12/15-6/11/15 Broken Trust (my error): 6/11/15 H ring off: 7/6/15; Comm w/ OW confirmed 7/13/15 H wants to work on fixing things: 7/21/15
