If,I spend the day away from my W doing my things and leave her to do things she wants without me being there I still fail to see how this will bring us closer together
Fogg pretty well nailed it. Read that post a few times.
But, to add, specifically on this. It isn't really that simple. It isn't like if you go to the movies today, your W is going to jump into your arms when you get home.
Think about how you are acting in your relationship with your W right now. Stop me if any of these adjectives aren't right (and I know - I was there) - needy, clingy, over helpful, overnbearing, over interested, mopey, desperate.....and so on.
Ok, now think about if a girl acted like that towards you in say high school. Would you want to DATE that girl? Would you be ATTRACTED to that girl?
So before you have a chance to work on your marriage, you have to fix all that about you. You need to REATTRACT her. The trouble is that change is slow (glacially so). And it's a process. And the first STEP is GAL. How can you possibly change if you're still running your life through your W and are all consumed by your M? You CANT.
SO ITS TIME TO REBUILD THE GHOST THAT ORIGINALLY ATTRACTED YOUR W TO YOU. or hell, an even better one.
