Truthfully I've been struggling. Not sure if it's the situation with my W, or my work, but dealing with both at the same time has left me utterly exhausted. I had to work Saturday morning and then completely cancelled all of my GAL plans for the weekend, opting to spend the two days on the couch watching movies, writing, and leaving only to grab coffee with a client.
I think Starsky posted something on one of Zues's threads about the six month mark being when the adrenaline wears off and people get really tired. I feel that. I'm depressed, but not in the "I can't even imagine getting out of bed today" way. It's more of the "gosh, everything just seems like it takes 10x more energy than it should" way. Laundry is exhausting, I ordered toilet paper off of Amazon prime instead of going to the store.
I'm usually a pretty high energy guy, I workout every day, surf, lift weights, write, meet with clients, cook, etc. Now I'm down to one main activity a day and the rest of the time is spent recovering. It's no fun at all.
It'll pass I know. Things will normalize.
I had to email my W last week about a joint credit card we had and also let her know I'd like to have our dog back for two months. We'd been trading until I went to Central America and agreed that once (if) everything is said and done, he should end up with one of us. But until then we co-parent.
I got a reply to the credit card question and "I'm still thinking of a reply to you taking (dog) back for a bit". Now I just feel like I'm getting jerked around and I think it's added to my malaise. I had told her that she could drop him at her brother's house if need be, he was both of ours as we got him together. He was also my lifeline after BD and her immediate move out. Taking him to the beach saved my life on a number of occasions. I have no idea how people do this with kids. I'm freaking out over my dog!
It just bums me out. My dreams this week have been a mess as well. For those of you that follow them, mine have all been about getting 80% through a task and then having to start over, over and over and over, with no resolution. Every night. So I wake up exhausted. Seems kind of fitting though.
Tomorrow's a new day, will keep my head up and keep plowing forward with my DB and ventures.
Again, bless you both for stopping by and seeing me. The note to my W is on hold for a bit until I can muster up the energy to put it together.
Big hugs,
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
