Yes I will be setting myself up for a lot more hurt down the road but right now I cannot just give up on my marriage right now I know she has decided to but I feel if I give up and she has given up then their really is no way back to happiness with her.
Did I say anything about giving up on your M? I said you needed to look at things from a different angle. For example, when she goes out, you don't ask any questions about it. That is what a man in a M does, not a man in a separation. She wants to live separated! You are not living as though separated, and that's why sometimes staying under the same roof doesn't work to the advantage of the LBS. B/c you see it as M, and she sees it as S. It can work out, if you get the right thought process.
Btw, didn't you say she had been going out clubbing, before you wrote your previous post?
GAL is very important. It may help you to see other ways you need to change the dynamics in this present relationship. It depends upon how you GAL. As I said, you need to go out without the kids sometimes. And when you do go out, you don't give her details, know what I mean?
She sees you as this man down on his knees, pleading with her to give him another chance. (maybe not in words, but actions.). At the same time, she sees herself as a free agent.......who can go clubbing, and talk or give her number to whoever she wants, b/c she sees herself as having dumped the H. What can you do to change this around? I promise you that doing more housework (or other things along that line) will have no effect in changing the dynamics. You could become Mr. Mom of the year and she would still be clubbing (which is another word for prowling) and you would be left at home wondering when she was going to snap out of it.
I'm not saying she won't like your improvements. I am saying that if she is a WW, it's going to take more than your improvements before she has change of heart. She may even get chummy and want to act as friends. This is often when the LBH is misled to think things are on the mend. That is what I was referring about setting yourself up for more hurt. B/c when men go into what they believe is repairing the MR, they will be devastated, again, when eventually learning just how deceitful she had been all along.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
