Hey Jim, good to hear from you....hope you've been having a good weekend - pretty nice weather in our part of the world!
I understand what you're saying about your W having moved on (seemingly..) But 'Dad is Dad' no matter what. So you are irreplacable in the eyes of your kids. Also, we all know the fairly predictable trajectory that R's like this take. Some combust quickly, others die slowly - but most don't survive. Who knows, your W's R with OM may be one of the fes that does survive - but we know the stats.
Cordial, polite and quick sounds not too bad Jim. I think it has been worse, and time will only help I believe. I understand on the childcare arrangements, and I think it is an area where you certainly want to choose your battles very wisely indeed. My experience of being married to H and our liaison with his XW, is that the more flexible, helpful we can all be, the better - but it does take time to get to a more comfortable place. And that time is years rather than months in situations like ours.
I hope for your sake that OM does move on as - even if you and your W don't get back together - it's easier for her partner not to be the one who contributed to your M break up.
Sounds like some useful stuff with your IC. Glad for you that this is ongoing. What you said made me think of Brene Brown's stuff. I plan to revisit that at some point soon and take things a bit further there.
I get you on the filing. I'm kind of getting to that place myself. But I would let that one bubble around for a little while perhaps. For me, it has been really important that I didn't bring our M to an end - that H did absolutely everything. He was unfaithful, he filed - it's all on him. But then I wonder if that's a bit mean - rather than me truly wanting to save the M, just not wanting things to be 'on me?'
As for me - yes, I'm also weary of being in love with H still....and giving him valuable head space too. Oh well, we'll get there Jim...
Trip to the Far East sounds fab - something to look forward to anyway xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
