Had a cool experience yesterday.

I'm still playing tennis--mainly just hitting the ball against a wall on a tennis court because D12 isn't as into it as I am.

Anyway, I'm getting better and able to hit the ball harder. I was able to get rid of some anger yesterday.

It actually was the first time I felt able to focus, whack the ball in anger and release it. I felt so much better after.

In the past, there was so much anger that I would almost feel overwhelmed at the idea of releasing it... like if I allowed that can of worms to open, I'd get swallowed up.

I'm still getting some playful texts from Matt. I'm not sure what to do with them. He sent another $75 to my account above his child support payments to help with D12's concert tickets. He said it was for her birthday, but that's not until Aug. 31.

On the one hand, I think of all the people on the boards who post how they regret not opening themselves up more when the MLC-er softened. Still, I know he has a mountain to climb and I don't see him making any real effort to ascend.

I think I need to plainly tell him my boundaries. I'm not available for friendship without any action. IDK. I need to pray on this one.

I know that I've finally reached the point where I'm squarely in the "I'm OK" zone. I know I will be ok without him. I know I'm able to let him go without anger or regret. I've said all there is to say.

I remember hearing in Al-Anon how you will know when you are done. I think I've reached that point where I have some clear lines of demarcation which I will not cross. And, I know I'm able to walk away. Took 3.5 years to get here.

Sent out about 10 resumes. My aunt happens to know a bunch of people in Asheville and she is talking me up. I was even able to send my resume directly to the owner of the Biltmore. Nice :-)

Still can't wrap my head around the details behind the move... doesn't make any sense to me how this could work financially and otherwise... but, I'm trusting God.

God seems to really enjoy creating impossible situations and, then, paving the way (with action) to make the impossible... possible.

Last edited by LoisB; 07/19/15 01:27 PM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson