Thanks for stopping by my thread. Im an autumn girl (or is that Fall, not sure what you call it up your way). Love the turning of the leaves, the crispness in the air, and blue skies (winter here in Auckland is just wet-there is just a lot of cold rain, doesn't snow in Auckland). Right now however would love a bit of summer heat.
It has never quite made sense to me that speaking about your boundaries was required in relationships. I always just assumed that everyone just completely understood that there were basic ways of being and operating in a relationship that didn't need discussion. I am obviously complete naive about the fact that you would need to make it explicit that sex or intimate relationship with a third person outside of marriage should need to be discussed. It seems strange to me that I needed to be more explicit with my ex that I would expect him to be there for me when I got sick.
I have significant amount of resentment and hurt about my ex not being there for me when I was really unwell with depression. I'm not sure that this feeling is ever going to away. What i do know is that the more emotional distance I get from him, the NC and the zero expectation I now have of him to be anything other than who he is, and who he is is someone who can't be there for his partner when they are vulnerable. The easier my journey becomes, the easier I find letting him go and the closer I get to being a better me.
I am also learning that sometimes you don't actually know you have a rule or boundary about a particular thing, until you feel that it has been infringed upon. Thanks to V I am beginning to realise that there are certain emotional responses I have to know this is the case.
I don't know why I am sharing all of this. I guess I just wanted you to know that, you have made me think.
