Help needed

[Nettles]

Getting well again is the first priority. I am seeing IC. But I think on of the main things I have to focus on is detachment.

Amen, brother.

Right now it is still a vicious cycle of negative self blame and an inability to see the bright side of life. The bright sides are there.

You have to love and respect yourself before anyone can love and respect you. As far as the blame, my father-in-law had some great advice for me. He said "It takes 2 to divorce. You own 100% of your 50% in it."

What the IC told me is that my ex wife might not be capable of receiving and giving real love. However the description of a wayward wife pretty much sums it up. She may be head strong and stubborn but I seriously do not think she has a disorder. The IC however was of the opinion that my boundaries have gradually been pushed over the years. I think I had as much to do with that not realizing women will test your strength again and again. That is a generalisation I know.

I hope the focus of the IC sessions isn't all about the W. I hope most of the time is spent on Soeren and what you do going forward.

After reading a lot on the subject I understand her reactions. Maybe even if she does not. It is hard not to blame yourself when you can check of so many mistakes. Some where along the way I stopped being a man she could respect. The IC believes I was gradually pushed to it but I did not make it hard for her. I was young, insecure and had no experience. Now it is too late to change with her..

You are only guessing on why she reacted why she did. That should be covered in MC if and when the time comes.

Detachment. GAL. Realizing Soeren is going to be okay no matter what the outcome. Take the focus off of what W thought, the mistakes you made, all the past. There will be a time and a place for that. Not yet though.