Zues, this is excellent counsel. I think part of what's fueling my depression and obsession is that we were building a life and a business together, and I let my identity become very much bound up in what "we" were doing and becoming. It's not just the relationship I'm losing. I'm losing my house - also something many on this board can relate to. But also the work thing... suddenly, everything I worked on, personally and professionally, has come crashing down. I'm struggling now to figure out that piece - who am I? what am I going to become? - as well as everything else. Now, if and when I do that, it will be a testament to personal resilience and strength. But for now? I just see shattered pieces of my life everywhere, with no end in sight soon.

You know, I lost my brother when he was 19 in a car crash, and I wrote a very well received book about it. I know about loss, grieving, the stages and all those things. I came through that, and I'll come through this. But right now, I'm IN it. And it [censored].

Good news is, I'm with my saintly mom tonight, enjoying some wine and salad on the porch. It's a haven of peace here, and I will make the most of it. Thanks again, Zues.

Me: 46 Her: 41
M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18
3/26 W and I meet OW
BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring
W goes to stay with OW 6/26
NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16
I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19