A new thread - My W's OW, the Predator

[Zues126]

I think it's normal, necessary, and just fine to go through the process you need to go through. Whether that includes some fixation on WAS, or to feel like you're stuck in a rut sometimes.

It's just nice to have a map. You know you'll go through this for a while, then you'll bottom out for a bit, then you'll start letting go of WAS, your feelings will turn more towards resentment and anger for what she's done as you feel 'free' of her, and eventually you'll be tired of it overpowering your life and you'll start to feel done with letting it dictate much of your head space at all.

The benefit of a map isn't that you can hurry up the progress. You can't. There are no shortcuts with growth and grieving. The benefit of a map is that you don't let any of these stages define you, lead you to make lifelong decisions out of emotion, or that you don't let them divert you from your long term objective: To be the best you possible, to lead from character, to stand for your M while it makes sense to do so, and to be strong enough to stand for you if there comes a time when it doesn't.

So don't mistake my post for chiding you for having emotions. Just make sure you have a mission statement somewhere with those overall goals etched in, and spend some time reflecting or meditating on it so you stay grounded through the turmoil. Like a mountain, storms can rage all around but you will be still and solid through it all, unmoved by the crashing waves and lightning.