Well, I don't think the GAL was such an issue for me pre-BD. You haven't read older posts but I just came out of a depression in the fall (dealing w/childhood issues when my mom died and a close family member's child was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder). I was dealing with 2 traumas at once.
Through it I distanced from H. I do remember him reaching out to me but I just couldn't come out of it. It is hard to explain but he made multiple attempts to reach me without ever directly saying I was depressed. In hindsight he did stand by me through it all with kindness and patience. So I do think he, too, will remember how I treat him through the worst of his depression. I withdrew first and I am sure I pushed him to do the same. If he came home I went off to be by myself. I was by myself A LOT. I didn't even say "hello" or "goodbye." Sound familiar?!?
Through it all I did have a life though. I played a lot of tennis (got very fit and socialized there) worked part-time, walked a lot. I did lose touch with friends as I withdrew from everyone but my sisters.
So my sitch is somewhat tough as H wants time and space but his top complaint has been he was bottom tier priority. As he was.
My 180 is a little different I think. I have to be present more, re-engage with kids and I have had to come back to life in my home!
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
