A new thread - My W's OW, the Predator

[Zues126]

Different...see my posts on 4mykids last thread (pages 10/11).

I haven't posted on your thread because as I mention to her, the first 3 months are crazy making. We can tell you to detach, to get off her roller coaster ride, but that's very hard to do this early.

But it HAS to be done. Seriously. 90% of what you talk about is WAW or OW. 90% of how you measure progress is on how your WAW is treating you. You obsess over her every move, trying to figure out if she's coming out of a fog or not.

Time to realize YOU are in as deep of a fog as WAW. You are in a fog of dependence, neediness, putting your wellbeing in the hands of someone that you clearly shouldn't, and spending great deals of personal attention and energy on things you absolutely have no control over.

How can you expect WAW to let go of OW because she's destructive...when YOU can't let go of WAW for the same reasons?

You don't need to wait until she moves out either, that's just giving away your power and putting yourself in a jail.

Your last sentence: "It feels like I'm giving up". It SHOULD. You ARE giving up. Giving up on trying to control others and force the world around you to change.

Again, everyone goes through this the first 3 months. Maybe you're still not ready to let go yet. You need to bottom out maybe. The same way WAW would need to hit a rock bottom to let go of OW, maybe you need to bottom out to let go of WAW. My rock bottom was very clear...I spent three months going through all of this as well, only to discover some things that showed I was operating in an entirely different universe than WAW was and I realized I was being a total chump for thinking differently. Since then it's gotten easier.

After you make this shift you should be spending most of your time working on yourself, 180s, GAL, and building a new life for yourself, maybe attending to some personal issues that have made you this dependent. From this moment forward what WAW does is irrelevant. We get it. She's picked a destructive road that is away from you, you are hurt, betrayed, and lonely. Now deal with it, don't keep orbiting around her every action. That is the direction you need to take. And you can do it.