A new thread - My W's OW, the Predator

[DifRent]

So, I think things between my W and me are moving into a new phase - colder, and more distant. I'm feeling it from her in a new way, guessing that on the heels of the "what do you know about the OW that I don't know" debacle on Monday, the OW has told her she needs to avoid me and move toward minimal contact. I'd texted her probably ten times this past week - only about housekeeping details, not in any way related to our R. Typically, she'd always text back some kind of response, but she hasn't been texting me back at all.

She came by just a little bit ago to bring back some camping chairs I needed. "I brought the chairs, okay? See you." And out she went. First time she's ever been that kind of abrupt.

I have to keep reminding myself this is a long game, and I better get used to the distance for a while. This upcoming week will be a good start; I'm going to a friend's house the next town over and staying with her for a week to help with her daughter while her husband is out of town. I think I'll take the opportunity to make it a no contact week - if she's pulling back, I need to pull back more, right?

My W will probably come by the house and possibly notice I'm not staying here, but then again, maybe she won't. And maybe by now, she doesn't care.

My no contact week will coincide with a flurry of busy-ness for my W... on Wednesday, the OW closes on the homes she's bought and sold. W will be with her getting the new home ready and helping her move in. The next week, my W closes on her sketchy apartment, in which they'll be working on a bunch of renovations - between that and decluttering/moving things out of this house, she is going to be very busy and very focused on all these "house" matters - stuff she loves, and all of it very much intertwined with her relationship with the OW. Even if things are inevitably headed for disaster between the two of them, it's going to take a while. They are very excited about all this activity right now. I'm going to have to put my thoughts and energy elsewhere.

I'm still struggling with it, though. Sitting here this morning, I'm thinking about how much I miss our formerly easy companionship. For her to just breeze through and barely acknowledge me - I know I need to get out of her head, but I can't help wonder what's going on in there. How did I go from being the love of her life, the one she could hardly stand to be parted from, to a stranger she barely talks to?

It will be hard not to get a little sign here and there that she's conflicted and confused, because those have been the things that have kept me encouraged and moving forward - and, they've given me a false sense of control, in a way. It's scary to move into this next phase, to be so disconnected, and to give her to God.

To be honest, it feels like I'm giving up.