Well forum family, this is a difficult but necessary post. I know this whole db process is about saving marriages, but tonight I was able to "confirm", or at least convince myself beyond a resonable doubt that W's EA (PA?) Is still going on.
This was all I needed to wake up. I began thinking about how I've been feeling lately, and why. All week, I've been feeling lower and lower until yesterday when I hit rock bottom and couldn't figure it out...until tonight on my drive home. I started thinking through a "script" of what I would say to W to tell her I'm filing for D. As I thought about this, my mood started getting better. The weight.lifted off my shoulders, I started to feel something I haven't felt in almost 90 days...dignity.
That's what I've been missing. My dignity. I've decided that I will no longer play the game, tolerate her infidelity, and be a pawn in her chess game. I've decided I'm done. I'm calling my L on Monday and starting the process.
I'm not angry at her. I contributed to this too. I wish I had gotten the counseling and help I needed for my depression sooner, but I don't know that it would have mattered. She still chose to love someone else. I wish them the best, and I hope this helps to move things along.
I will fight for my D2 and make sure she has the best dad possible. I just can't be that man for her without my dignity.
I will still be here and will discuss my process going forward. Could use advice on the best way to tell W, or if I should just file and let her get served.
"Be kind, be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle."
