Help and support appreciated

[West1]

Thank you 25. That does make a great deal of sense.
I had said something similar, when she had started talking about things I was soing and taking care of her.
Said I doing these things for me, to make myself a better person, father and husband, no matter who I am with in the future everyone I care about will be better of and benefit from the work I am doing.

Update. She has now said she doesnt want me out of her life, and she has been enjoying her time with me this week.

Finally finished a 4 page letter I had been writing for a while and gave it to her. Couldnt find the words till recently. Apologoized again for the hurt , pain, destruction of the innocence of our marriage, the shattering of faith and trust. Saying I hope she can someday forgive me for all the sins I have committed against her, and all the hurt, sorrow, misery and pain I have inflicted upon her.
laid out my plans for accountability, the vows I intend to uphold.

She said she believes, NOW, that I truly know how to love her properly, and that I know what marriage really means to her.

I found it interesting tonight, she sat on my lap like she used to, and asked what time should I be home.... I was taken aback.
After BD and before she left, she would just leave, and not come home till 530am right before I had to go to work.
She said I dont want to be out till midnight or anything. I responded you are a grown, beautiful woman, who is making her own choices and decisions, how come you are asking me?
She responded i dont like having to take anyone into consideration when I am doing something i want to do.
i suggested 11-1130pm. She said that is plenty of time to relax and get out after being cooped up with me and babies all week.

Got new tire on truck today.

Took D1 D1 for a walk while she was sleeping after work.

Starting to gather all necessary info for divorce......sucky.

Having fiber internet installed tomorrow so there is that.

Still have bottles to wash, laundry to start, and keep myself busy so nasty thoughts about what she is out doi g dont creep into my head.