Mozza (13) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

PMA Report | I'm 92% well. I go about my days almost like pre-BD. I focus on whatever I have to do, I make plans, I GAL, I laugh. The S is no longer a thick fog, it's just clouds in the sky that hide the sun every now and then. Oh, I still cry a few times a week, but in short bursts and then I go back to my business.

I'm kids-less for two weeks — one week done already. The kids are gone with WW in OM's family at one of the most beautiful places on Earth. They'll go to the beach for the first time, a project that we had for years and that I'm missing. This is a bit difficult to think about. WW wrote me today that the jet lag had been difficult but that the kids were gaining confidence in the water. She thanked me for my flexibility (we had to adjust the schedule). All I can do is take the punch and suffer in silence. I thanked her for the update and did not tell her how difficult this is for me.

Work Report | Great progress on that front recently. I officially left the coworking space and set up my home office. I've reached a level of motivation that I hadn't had since BD. I deliver work more consistently and I've the energy to do a little something extra. This is a an important change for me as it was the last aspect of my life that was still seriously lagging behind.

IC Report | I've progressed a lot in the awareness of my issues, but I have not yet succeeded in assuming my desires. This means that I will not ask for what I really want; I will take what is offered. On a dating website for instance, this means that I will respond to the women who contact me, but not initiate contact with those who interest me. Of course, this attitude is reflected in the rest of my life and the result is that I miss out on what I want and accumulate frustrations. I'm surprised to realize that I've made so little progress on this, but I agree with the diagnostic.

Dating report | Casual dating is not easy for a serial monogamist eager to please like me. Emotionally, it's exhausting because I tend to invest much into each date or encounter. I always check that the other person is on board, feels comfortable, I tend to suggest commitment even when I don't mean it because I feel it's what the other person wants to hear. Then I have to backtrack which is even harder. It's good practice and I'm learning a lot about myself. And to be honest, it's more fun than it is difficult.

GAL Update | Allow me a little brag, because I gained 20 pounds in the last four months by going to the gym and adjusting what I eat. Oh, I should clarify that this is good news: I was quite skinny with a BMI below 19 and now I'm above 21. And the difference is not around my waste! My discipline about it has been a psychological boost.

On other GAL news, I've started to learn the ukulele (easy when you already play guitar) and I've most likely forgotten all about my recent swing lessons!