Ok Matt I need to start small as I will get overwhelmed easily! I know me! These are going to be some of the hardest things I have done but If it saves me and or this family it will be worth it. So here goes some goals let me know what you think!
1. Control My Moods and Feelings for 7 straight days (stay positive) -I will take my medication daily on a schedule (I am bad at this for some reason I have a nursing degree you would think I would get it -Journal daily at night after kids go to bed reflecting on thoughts/reactions/feelings either on here or in a notebook -In bed by 9:30 pm and up no later than 8 AM (I have a terrible sleep schedule right now sleeping my days off away so this shall help tiredness and moods) -Keep smiling no matter what he tells me even if it is about OW and keep conversation light -Ask for a timeout if conversation starts to stray/get tense ect by validating. "I know it is important for us to discuss this but I am feeling anxious talking about this right now can we talk about this at a later time?" -On Sundays I will make a to-do list and put up a weekly calendar of events for both of us to add to so I do not have to ask about his plans and do not forget things that need done and it will lessen my stress load. I am a list maker
2. GAL -will continue going to the races on Saturdays but not for him for the kids to see their dad, keep them away from OW, be supportive (one of his complaints), and because I lOVE going and wouldn't want to miss it. -Will put phone in the bedroom half hour after I get off work (I tend to sit on my phone and computer all night being a vegetable on the couch so if I do not have it I will have to do something -no computer until the kids go to bed (same reason as before) -will go out with kids 2 x's this week either pool, park, bike ride, library, anything they want
3. No Pursuing -I will not text or call unless he does first -No asking for hugs -No Relationship talk -No OW talk if he mentions her I will simply say ok or thanks for letting me know -I will not ask about his plans but if he tells me/asks me if he can do something I will answer honestly not just always say yes
4. Detatch -I will not call or text unless he does first -I will send sort answer back at least half hour after he sends message unless it pertains to kids -I will own my own emotions (I will not blame him for making me feel good, bad, angry) -I will evaluate my irrational thinking about inability to detatch from the detatchment thread -I will read information on setting emotional boundaries!
OK Matt feel free to pick apart I will not get good at it without honest input! I feel like this is getting a life I have a lot of "homework" to do!
