Need Help and Support #2

[2chiquitos]

hi desp13. Keep it up. It takes time to practice detachment. For some of us here on the forum it can be quick while others it may time a lot longer. For me, it took about 1 yr. I wasn't ready to start practicing it until month 7.

Continue to mediate (DAILY!!)

[desp13]

thank you 2chiquitos.

yeah Its hard, but this week has help me some how, its been 6days that I havent seen her nor initiated contact with her, she has gotten more distant, and is texting me less idk if its part of the LRT don't know if its a normal behavior of a WW, but its helping my detachment..

[desp13]

Today I saw my father in law, and he told me that I was lost and that if I was off today from work that I should pass by to have dinner,, I really dont want to that cuz I feel like thats a step backwards, and I don't want to risk seen her getting ready to go out.. I feel bad cuz her family adopted me pretty much as a son, and I did the same, but they wont understand how much it hurts me to see her and how confused I get. I really dont want to reject his offer but I dont want my feelings to keep getting hurt.

[Matt777]

It's ok to say you have plans. It's good to accept things every now and again, but it's also good to be busy sometimes.

[desp13]

I know believe it or not I find it easier to say no to her than to her parents.. Im going to do my thing today and if later on I feel like going then Ill just go. but Ill see how my day plays out.

[desp13]

ok Need to run this through, cuz Im weak, she just asked me if was taking my D2 out this sunday, i said yeah, why?
she answered no just asking cuz I wanted to take her to the pool but I guess Ill take her saturday. idk but I kind of got feeling like she is waiting for me to ask her to join us.. I really dont know if I should. I feel bad cuz she invited me last time to the pool but I didnt go so idk if she is expecting and invite too.! ??

[Matt777]

In my opinion, You're mind reading - looking for things that aren't there.
Stick with the process.

[desp13]

would she see it as perusing even though my real intentions are just not to be rude since she always invites me and I have never invited her anywhere. tbh Im not trying to force anything, but I feel like it will make me look kind of bad.
no?? should I see it in another perspective?

[Matt777]

Be honest.

Why do you want her with you?

[desp13]

Im completely honest I don't need her or care for her to be there but I do feel that it looks rude.. maybe I'm seeing it wrong, I know she wont go anyways cuz she doesn't like what we're going to do.! but honestly my intentions are 100% out of courtesy.. but I don't want this to affect me in the long run. either.