WAW Filed for D the Next Day Part 12 (Bob)

[Bob723]

Thanks so very much to all who replied since I posted almost 24 hours ago. I haven't been able to log in until now. Is saw I had 107 posts in Part 11, so I started Part 12. Toots, Rd, Eirinn (twice!), Wonka, PigPen, DifRent, WhyUs and gr8ful3 all posted since my last post. As usual, I am overwhelmed by your support. Encouragement, advice, humor (very funny Rd!), concern and your time come to mind quickly. Wonka and all, I agree with you 100% -- no contacting my W for 4 weeks aka “no poking the bear” LOL. But something business-related came up yesterday, and I had no choice but to contact her. Here's why...

Disclaimer - Business Only (LOL!) I texted my W last night to ask if we could discuss our townhouse. I was approved yesterday for a much lower monthly payment mortgage, but since we are in the process of a D, she would have to sign a Quit Claim Deed to get her name off the title. Standard stuff. Then, I could afford (I already checked with several banks) both the mortgage/home equity and they would about the same as my current mortgage - maybe even a little less and have the funds to buy my W out.

Texts:

Me: "I need to speak with you about our townhouse. Do you have any time tonight to discuss it? Are you feeling up to it?"

Wife: "What did you want to talk about specifically ? I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm just want to know so that I know exactly what to consider before we talk. Thanks."

Me: "I completely understand, I would never think you were asking because you were trying to be difficult. I believe I found a way to have enough money to buy you out. But it's a little too complicated to go back-and-forth with in texts. Does that help, at least a little bit, W?"

Wife: "Yes, I am curious. I can try to call you tonight. I can't talk for long or agree to anything over the phone, you understand that don't you?"

She eventually called me, said "Hello" and then mentioned she "didn't feel too well." I asked her if she would like to speak another time. She said, "No, it is ok." So, I explained the details to her, she listened and thought it was a good idea, but that she had to run it by her L first. Of course, I let her know that she should. I stuck to the subject (Yay Bob!) and I mentioned I had to go. She agreed, but asked how I was doing. I said "Fine, but I had an overnight stay in the hospital a few weeks ago." (I am not sure I ever posted that here.) I said "dehydration" and she mentioned how it can creep up on you and was glad I was better. I thanked her and then she gave me a quick update on her children.

As we were about to hang up, W said, "You are a sweet guy. I hope you meet someone nice." I said, "Thank you." And we hung up.

A "sweet guy" she is divorcing. The part that hurt was "I hope you meet someone nice." I know, I know, believe nothing they say....that includes compliments as well. I know it's mind reading, but MAYBE she was taking my pulse to see if I have moved on.

All I can do it what we all agree about on this board. Keep sticking to the DB principles and keep working on myself. I can't control my W, and as much as it hurts, if she is truly happier without me, I've decided I will be happy for her. Isn't that what TRUE love really is?

I have been terrible lately at checking in on my friends here - so sorry. I am so busy and caught up in my sitch.

Peace to all.

Bob