H is in limbo/confusion of wanting to D and save M (so he says), which I believe is due to MLC with active A. H is still living in home in seperate bedroom, though he has been gone for much of summer due to work. H continues to lie and deceive about A (said it ended around January), but I have multiple forms of evidence that prove otherwise. I have recently decided to not focus on A as it has kept me from working on myself and there is really nothing I can do about it anyway. I did set boundry around it being brought into my personal space and have thought about kicking H out if home. Still confused as to whether it is better for him here or if he moves out.
H does have valid concerns about M. He tried to tell me for years how unhappy he was and made attempts on his own, but I saw none of it and did nothing to make changes. While BD was March 14, 2015. Continously trying to detach so that I can control my emotions and find compassion and empathy for H. –----------------------
H came home from trip last night. I had been at happy hour, so I must say was looking very pretty and in good spirits when I arrived home. I had on my best PMA and tried to be talkative and engage him with questions about his trip. I decided I am not going to let him dictate the mood in the house anymore after the weeks prior to trip of being so tense and uncomfortable. I am just not going to live like that any more. If he wants to, that is on him.
Before he left on trip, H was barely acknowledging my presence and very little eye contact. At first last night H was very distant and cold. He made some passive aggressive comment about a decision I made about garden (first comment after hello), had an edge on him, and did not ask me any questions. I even went up to him and said it was nice to see him and gave him casual hug. Not sure if I should have done that, but I think he was thrown for a loop on my attitude and behavior and likely was not hiw he was expecting me to act. Since he was not really being receptive, I decided to leave him for a bit to let my behavior settle in while I took the dog for a walk.
I came back from walk and he was much more engaged, had eye contact, and asked me some questions about what I had been up to over the past few weeks. Even asked about my Meetup. He was also engaged with dog in a way I have not seen for months. I tried to show excitement about what I had been up to, but did not go into too much detail. He took off to go grab dinner and I hung outside on patio with dog. Overall, compared before trip it was a very positive interaction.
Last edited by Cadet; 07/17/1501:25 PM. Reason: Links
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
