As LITB seems to be referencing, there seems to be a balance to make sure that the effort is genuine, not just giving her the cake. I think action seems to be the separator between cake eating and genuine effort.
M:34 XW:34 Together: 10y Living: 9y Married: 7y Son:6 Son:4 Separated: 12/28/13 Piecing: 5/2/14 Separated 2nd: 10/16/14 W filed, but pulled it: 11/5/14 papers served: 1/27/15 D final: 3/6/15