XW's fog lifting, wants to work on fixing us

[gogofo]

Thanks HP and HD. It has been a wild ride. I am nervous about being vulnerable again, I also assume she it too.

When she said she wanted me I started to talk and she kind of got sh!tty back at me, or started to. She thought I was going to say "Good I'm glad you want me, now go "f" off". I told her she may "want to stop and listen. I know you are feeling vulnerable and now trying to protect yourself, but let me talk."

I told her how the D was the wrong answer to our problems and how I let go, but still believe in us being able to fix things.

She was scared to open up and tell me she wanted me, but did so anyways. I asked if she would have told me on her own. She said yes, not so soon or is quite the same way, but yes she would have told me. She did not expect to admit to it that night.

Other things came up too. It was a pretty healthy talk. Very calm . It was the first time I saw her taking some ownership for her side of the street. If the discussion was genuine it could be the start of actually trying to address the issues and repair them, not just bury them and hope they will disappear.

She even admitted that she was punishing me during our reconciliation attempt because of the hurt she felt before. She is getting IC and it seems to have her looking inside now and not running from her problems. This is helping her realize things about herself which should help.

I asked if she liked doing IC and she said it was painful looking at herself. I told her it made me feel sane.

This time if things move forward we seem to be laying a plan for a good foundation instead of just painting up the place to make it look better for a while before it crumbled.