A new thread - My W's OW, the Predator

[DifRent]

Ok... I really think the true detachment counsel won't be able to be applied to its fullest extent until she moves out about a month from now... the problem is she is here, just enough, to make things crazy...

I came home from work and saw her car in the driveway... and I kept on driving. I knew she had picked my mom up from the airport this afternoon, an airport that is 5 minutes down the road, and my mom left her car at a neighbor's house... and I couldn't get her because of work, so my W did.

My mom is also my W's godmother... when my W was baptized at Easter this year. So my saintly mother took the opportunity to suggest they get some coffee and talk. According to my mom, they discussed the following:

Mom: We talked about her job and she told me things were improving....told her she seemed a little more relaxed.... Then I told her how worried I have been, cuz I know what stress can do...then told her about my "episode' (Mom had a stress related episode at work that led her to the hospital years ago). and that I did not want to bury another young member of the family. (referring to my brother who died 24 years ago at the age of 19 - and, clearly, referring to you as another "young" member of the family... you are loved...)
Mom: "Then I told her about my retreat and how I go every year... I told her that I thought she would really enjoy an Ignatius Retreat....very organized...would ba a great retreat for all new Catholics cause you come away with a plan for life.."

W said, " I really need to do that."

I asked... "did she say that? oh... I really wish she would actually do that..."

Mom said, "You bet I am going to follow up on it and find all the scheduled ones for the next year! I told her you would probably like it too. Then we laughed about being silent for three or four days."

I said, "Please do. I'd go with her, if she'd let me. AND be quiet. lol I'm telling you... if you only heard the things she's been saying to me. the 'bad influence' goes to the church of cheap grace, if I had to give it a name. she's very, very confused right now."

My mom said, "Since real estate is dead in Nov. and Dec., which she stated....I pray I can find one close enough then. Let's just keep praying....Mother Teresa will make it happen."

My W asked about my baby brother, who is in grad school. Mom said he'd be home in August and absolutely EXPECTED her to be at the family celebration. My W also asked my mom why she went to Montana at all... Mom told her about her friend's breast cancer... "and that God sent me to see her. I know that got to her...I could see her swallow HARD."

See, my W has YET to begin to deal with her own mother's death, eight years ago.

From cancer.

My mom skyped this: "Honestly Dif, I had no idea what we would talk about...I just asked The Holy Spirit to put the words in my mouth." Seems like He did...

So, I saw her this afternoon. She agreed to get groceries for the house, engaged in other innocuous but pleasant niceties.

As she was getting ready to leave, she said, "I won't be home tonight, okay babe?"

(This kills me every time. W(hy)TF ask me if it's okay????)

But then she added, "Oh, I don't know, Maybe I will. There's a birthday party tonight, that's what's going on."

And she sounded... AGITATED.

I think the OW is completely booking her life, and she is beginning to show signs of wear. Subtle signs she'd never admit. But still...

She's remembering how sweet it was to sit in our lovely living room with a bottle of wine and a silly movie for just a couple of hours, and fall asleep in each other's arms on the sofa before 10pm. She is remembering how if I made plans for her, they were simple, and maybe a couple of times a month. Not every waking moment.

At least, this is what it looks like. Or maybe just what I'm hoping for.

"All lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest..." lie, lie, lie,lie...