Been reading these boards for a couple of weeks now. My first post. My husband told me last fall 2014 that he loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore. I was devastated and determined to fix it. We started marriage counseling soon after and I made a lot of changes he however didn't. I was too critical in our marriage and not affectionate enough. He said he felt like he was in a loveless marriage. I have put forth a lot of effort to be be more affectionate and now not critical at all. All I try and show him is love. He says he has shut down and doesn't know how to get himself back. Our counselor told him he needed to make changes of his own and she couldn't do anymore for us as a couple until he decides what he wants. I caught him last year texting a coworker about normal day to day stuff but it was not the content but the number of texts that was alarming. He denies having an affair but does work with her everyday so I don't have a clue if there is more going on. He would not have a lot of time for an affair as I can account for most of his time (except those during his work hours). I don't have access to his new cell phone. He did loose a lot of weight last year and is more concerned about his looks. MLC?
He told me 3 weeks ago after I pushed him that he wants a divorce. I instigated a relationship talk that I now know I shouldn't have. He has made no effort in moving out or any other moves though which is good.
I tried backing off after reading DB and he did say he used to know what I was thinking and now he has no idea (said last weekend). Then he proceeded to want to talk about our relationship. I told him I loved him and I didn't force him to marry me and I won't force him to stay. I told him I felt the bible disagrees with divorce and I do too. I didn't say much else nor did he.
I'm still trying to be quiet but loving. Taking my 3 kids on vacation in 2 weeks and haven't told him about it yet. Should I tell him now or right before? Invite him along?
Where do I go from here? Sometimes I don't know how to act with him in normal situations. Do I make his dinner? Do I buy him new socks when he needs them? Do I attempt any affection since he said that was one of his issues with me? Do I go to bed at the same time as him ( we still share a bed)?
Any help is welcome.
Me 38 H 37 M 14 T 20 S10, S5, D2 BD: Fall 2014 Marriage Counseling soon after til January 2015 Husband says he wants divorce: 6/27/2015 Still living together and sharing a bed
