Your boss sounds extremely abusive, and I would also be working on an exit strategy. Yes, that adds another layer of pressure and stress on your already compromised stability, but try to see it as a growth opportunity in the interim?
I'm willing to bet that a few years ago, you would have not felt that the stress of finding a new job was worth the upheaval, and you might have allowed yourself to think that you had to put up with that.
Also not sure if you have an HR department, but I wouldn't hesitate to contact them. IF you can't do it, promise yourself that you'll schedule an exit interview and document this kind of abuse so that she's held accountable for her behavior there.
True story. When I worked at the company in CA where I met Mr. Wonderful, I worked for a complete male chauvinist pig, who was also a pervert. He would orchestrate scenarios where he could catch his group of female employees in positions where he could be a peeping Tom. (Just thinking about him gives me the creeps.) He had a calendar of topless women in his office, and loved to call us in and watch our discomfort. This was the 80s, and they were getting on board with sexual harrasment training about that time, when those calendars finally came down. Anyway, he came into crosshairs with my office mate, who slapped a lawsuit on him and the company before she quit. She settled, and you'd think he'd have been fired. I was so naive then... and a friend of Mr. Wonderful's commented, "No, they'll just promote him." (In true Office Space fashion - I swear someone from my company wrote that screenplay.) My division director told me, "Bets, try not to make too many waves - this company goes through reorganizations every couple years and you might wind up working for this a*hole again." I got married and left, and true to fashion, he became the next boss of my former group. Again, all women and all who had heard my stories.
Looking back, this man belonged in JAIL from the first get go. He was probably one of those guys who hid in public restrooms with cameras. Anyhoo, in my exit interview, I let them know how awful he was. A couple years after I had moved here and left, one of my friends called me one day and told me that he was escorted off the premise by the box lady (the one who shows up at your office with the box and tells you to pack all your crap right now). He was caught viewing pornography at work. On government time. I was never so unsurprised in my life.
Side note (to let you know the kind of person I was then), when I interviewed, he asked me a tough question and I took a deep breath before I pondered an answer. He interrupted me with a perverted grin and said, "I love the way your chest heaves when you sigh." I should have reported him then and there. Mr. W. always wondered why I would have taken a job across the country to work for someone who was clearly a pervert. To this day, I think my desire to move outweighed my common sense. It worked out, but that disgusting story is part of my past. I'd like anyone and everyone to learn from it.
MAKE IT MATTER... whenever you need to make it matter. The company loses money on people like her. And you deserve so much better, MB.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
