Of course he's going to SAY you're the problem right now. That's what they will all say. He believes that you failed in your job of making him happy. What you know now is that it isn't YOUR job. So, let him yell. Imagine he's a 3 year old throwing a tantrum. Eventually, he will calm down and really be willing to have a discussion. But it doesn't sound like he's there at all yet.
So, work on you. Do your 180s. Stay patient. Keep detaching. Validate.
