Ok, I haven't been around much, been busy at work and trying to GAL. We officially seperated over the 4th of July weekend. She went away to visit "my" sister and niece (odd to me). Any interactions with the WAW have been about the kids. Unfortunately, they have not been positive but more "charged". I feel its my defense mechanism to be very closed when we are in this state.
So its only been about 10+ days, I'm not going to lie, but I'm really hurting inside. I can't get the image of her out of my head. I want to text her or call her just to hear her voice. I want to know if she misses me AT ALL. The only reason why I haven't done any of this yet is we agreed in marriage counseling that we'd "take a break" from our relationship issues and I'm worried of the negative response - "No, I don't miss you".
I'm a wreck, I miss my kids, I miss my wife. My stomach is in knots and my anxiety is higher than its ever been. I've been doing things to keep busy and my mind off things, but any idle time (driving, sitting, etc.) I'm thinking of her....
All I can think of during this time is she is confiding in another man to fill the missing void. I hate this feeling and I wish I knew how she was feeling and If she felt as crappy as I do....
I have I/C today for myself then going out with some friends after work. My anxiety kicks in because I'm worried I'll run into her with the kids at the event (its a slim chance, but it could happen).
