Ok, I so appreciate this forum. Y'all are my inspiration. Praise God for y'all.
Today was payday for my H. But he cancelled the direct deposit to our joint acct. Therefore, I wrote an email requesting a certain amount of money to pay for the mortgage along with several household bills.
Well, I received a super long text
H: Last wk I paid the mortgage so that money will be deducted from the amt you requested. When I return from a business trip, I'll send you a certified letter with a chk for expenses. I am having to pay more money to my atty plus mediation costs. Do not threaten me with you contacting your atty. My atty is fully aware of my actions regarding our finances and the steps I am taking to ensure all financial obligations are met. You could've helped with this by limiting any unnecessary expenses as well as by providing me ALL bills/expenses ahead of time as I had requested last month.
Me: H, You should've told me that you paid the mortgage. /you aren't the only one with limited finances. This D was your choice in the first place. I have other expenses too. And I don't see why you need to send a certified letter when you could've transferred the funds and sent an email. All these expenses are necessary. The divorce being final will give us clear direction on finances. The sooner the better.
Later, H sent a lengthy email stating that I am making daily demands???? and that there are no temporary orders in place therefore he wants our boys to spend the night Fri, Sat and Sun.??!!
I contacted my atty asap. She said there is a temp order in place and he has violated it over and over again. The boys each told me that they don't want to spend the night with their dad especially at his girlfriends house.
So I sent a text to him to have his atty contact my atty. Then the following texts came through:
H: vge, my atty asked me to respect his time. I am already having to pay him $5K this tuesday to further retain him. I am not going to bother him with this. What is the problem? Are you denying my right to spend the weekend with my sons?
Me: I again ask that you have your atty contact my atty.
H: I already forwarded my atty the original email I sent you. He is fully aware and asked me to be respectful of his time and send him money to extend his retainer fee. I will not be bothering him until I pay him this Tuesday. You can communicate what you need from me right now if it involves visitation with my sons.
Me: I have also spoken to my atty and if you need clarification then you should have your atty contact mine.
H: What are you avoiding vge? Why can't you clarify things? You have no problem delivering your list of demands on a daily basis. If you already contacted your atty and there was something wrong, she would've contacted my atty by now. So I am confused by your vague response. I will be there to pick up my sons this Fri at 6p for their weekend stay.
I haven't responded. My atty wanted me to send a text that he should stop harassing me or I'll call the police. That I am fighting cancer and he's fighting me.
Of course, I didn't send that text.
Why does it have to be this ugly? What did I say? Were my words harsh? I haven't made any demands except for asking for monies to run the household. At that, I didn't ask for extra money like for a day of eating out or having fun. He's the Disney Dad.
He says he's strapped for cash and he'll have to sell the vehicle he was going to give to our oldest son and going to sell the truck too to cover atty costs. Yet, he had enough money to pay for our mortgage, go on vacation with girlfriend, and pay the atty $5K??? How? Maybe it's from his girlfriend but I'm guessing it's his parents too that are funding this D. So sad.
Anyway, so very sorry for the long post. Thank you for reading. Would appreciate some insights and words of wisdom. Prayers too. This is a dark place and the light is there, it's just dim.
I trust in God and needing to feel His Divine Presence. Continued prayers for courage, wisdom, strength, favor and VICTORY!!
