I agree with the last few posts x2! I think you are still looking at your W and wondering if she will make up her mind so you can decide what to do. I think you need to let go of that and just do it. Decide on your path and take it. No reference to your W.
If she wants to catch up she will. And IMHO, she's more likely to want to if you are moving on with your life strongly and full of purpose. I think it may just be a case of losing the fear....the fear of, what if she really wants to X and I didn't see it....
Good luck xx
Last edited by Toots; 07/15/1506:54 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I think we're in a standoff situation. Each one of us is looking at the other, too afraid to make a mistake, secretly hoping the other one will make a decision for us.
She's even said point blank that she's afraid of screwing up
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
I agree with the last few posts x2! I think you are still looking at your W and wondering if she will make up her mind so you can decide what to do. I think you need to let go of that and just do it. Decide on your path and take it. No reference to your W.
If she wants to catch up she will. And IMHO, she's more likely to want to if you are moving on with your life strongly and full of purpose. I think it may just be a case of losing the fear....the fear of, what if she really wants to X and I didn't see it....
Good luck xx
I think you nailed my fear precisely. I keep thinking that if I just hang on a little longer, she's bound to wake up....etc, etc. I know that's not the case, but it's the fear I'm trying to overcome
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
I agree with the last few posts x2! I think you are still looking at your W and wondering if she will make up her mind so you can decide what to do. I think you need to let go of that and just do it. Decide on your path and take it. No reference to your W.
If she wants to catch up she will. And IMHO, she's more likely to want to if you are moving on with your life strongly and full of purpose. I think it may just be a case of losing the fear....the fear of, what if she really wants to X and I didn't see it....
Good luck xx
I think you nailed my fear precisely. I keep thinking that if I just hang on a little longer, she's bound to wake up....etc, etc. I know that's not the case, but it's the fear I'm trying to overcome
As with many things in DB .. its the opposite of what we think we need to do ... fact is she most likely will not wake up with you hanging on .. my W only woke when I completely let go.
From the beginning of the sitch, W's mantra was that she was seeking clarity....clarity about our M, clarity about the direction of her life in general.
What better way to achieve clarity than to actually experience life post-marriage. Not to actually D (yet), but to see what that life really looks like....
That's the clarity I want. Am I really wanting to fight to save the marriage, or am I just afraid of change?
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Isn't that what some of us have tried to beat over your head for months?
Yes, you are scared! You have been scared sh'tless since day one, and it continued to get worse. You are so scared to let go that you've actually caused more damage. So, I hope you do have clarity. I am not being sarcastic, I really do hope so.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
