Wife moved out and filed for divorce

[Bobbyb]

Hi all

Married 2 years no kids.
She is 45 me 50.
2nd marriage for me, was married 17 years with 2 kids, grown now.
She never married, was in 10 year relationship that ended 4 years ago.

So here we are now. Or at least me.

Our issues came to a head at the first of the year.
We went to counseling and seemed to resolve the issue at hand, which about money.

One month goes by and bigger issue comes up.
She says she doesn't trust me. That I had broken her trust.
Not my intention mind you.
So we go to counseling again and I realize what a big issue it had been.
So I work on that, vowing never to break her trust again.
Which I wouldn't do.
Only thing it apparently became too big of issue, we would go to counselling, I would acknowledge and ask for forgiveness.
But she couldn't get past it.
It became the I love you, but I'm not in love you.
Not sure if I can ever feel the same way again.
She asked for space, which I guess I had a hard time giving.
I just want to get past this and move forward to a bright future with her.
Everything was looking up money wise.
So I am trying, being rebuffed everyday for 4 months.
She lived in the other room.
Occasionally we would go out. But it wasn't the same.
I would say I Love You. She would say I know.
I could kiss her on the forehead but not the lips.
At this same time she started hanging out a lot at one of her girlfriends house, only girlfriend at the time.
Her girlfriend is 15 years younger. And her boyfriend had just blindsided her by moving out of their house while she was out of town.
So my wife was over there a lot.
Even before our issues coming to a forefront.
I had found all the stop your divorce things online.
Found a couple of Marriage Saving weekends to go to.
At first she said she would go.
I mean I wanted to try everything, have us both try.
But she could never fit it into her schedule.
Then I found another marriage system online.
Something we could do without leaving the home.
She agreed.
But never made time to do it.
I did. I also got many, many relationship books.
But we could never get past the past. She couldn't let us.

So here I am now.
She moved to her younger girlfriends last month.
And right away began boxing everything of hers up.
She couldn't wait to get out it seemed.
She has an apartment coming the end of the month.
She filed for divorce 3 weeks ago.
She sometimes comes over to get stuff.
But she says I make her anxious. That she doesn't feel comfortable being around me.
These are hard words to hear.
It doesn't sound like her.
She says she has to put up walls around her so she doesn't get hurt.
I have always been there for her.
The only arguments we have had recently is me trying to get her to try or let me in. For us to work on this.

So that's where I am.
I don't want a divorce.
She does.
She thinks that is the solution.

My solution would have been working on this together as a team.
But it hasn't been. She has her single girls support.
To me it feels like her friends have been rah rah on the divorce.
One of our main problems is we didn't have any real friends of ours that were couples. People who have been down the road and recovered and made marriage better.

Thanks

Just asking what to do