Heading toward affair- what to do?

[hopeOK]

Hope,

I hope you know I hear you when you reference having been the one who "withdraws" in the past and stayed out late and went to book club. The difference you can make is in your interactions with H *when you're with him.* Be neighborly-friendly. Not pis$y. Not conflict-avoidant. Don't act like you're going out to get away from him. Go out because you're going to have fun. And act warm - like you would toward a neighbor - to your H. You don't want him thinking you're going out because you're mad or sad or sulking or hoping to get a reaction out of him.

Is this making sense at all?

Yes, it makes sense. I just have been so conflicted about it. And I was never pissy or unhappy when I went out before- I was just all about myself & doing what I enjoyed b/c staying at home w/ my H wasn't so much fun. So I kinda feel like I am going back to this if I start going & doing things but I do see the point. I have been going out with the kids... Just nothing on my own yet. I'm looking into it though. We are in a new area & have moved away from my friends so I have to find something that interests me or group gatherings on meet-up.