Thanks Cali. I hear what you are saying. I'm so torn here, because I've seen an actual change in her attitude that leads me to 80% feel that the A is over. That 20% doubt still lingers, but my W is one of the most strong willed, intelligent people I've ever met. Going waaaay underground with the A doesn't seem in her nature (I know that she's not who she was, etc), but she's smart enough to understand that it would be a waste of time to try and really hide this. It would come out eventually.
Also, I want to give her more credit than to intentionally hurt me/D2. She knows I've talked to an attorney, so she knows I will leave eventually.
She just genuinely wasnt/isn't happy with who I became. I know I'm putting a lot on me, and I'm not excusing the A, but when I look back on this, it really was/is 75% my fault. And that is after a lot of thinking/focusing in which I tried to find a way I could blame her for everything.
So, with the way things are now, I'm weighing the risks of each way to behave/respond, and I've settled on trying to be halfway between DB and piecing while keeping one eye on my back to be sure nothing sneaks up. I hope I've protected myself emotionally enough to not get hurt if I'm going about it wrong.
