I think every one of us has heard the "Too little too late" speech. What your WW is seeing is a drastic change in desperate times. Over the years she has pleaded for these changes and at this point has given up hope.
Do not talk to her about the R. Do not bring out old photo's. Do not talk about your wedding day. Nothing. NO RELATIONSHIP TALK! Follow Sandi's rules, study them, they do work. Sometimes it takes time!
My W moved out on Valentines Day! I came home from work and my house looked like I got raided by the feds. I spent December 2014-V-Day trying to prove to her that I changed. It's now July and she is finally realizing the changes I made are for real and the best part is that I don't know if I want her back! She went from not calling/texting for days to at least 3-4 texts a day! Because I detached. Give it a shot!
Read Sandi's rules, GAL, act like you are ok and moving on! Believe me, this stuff works!
Thank you
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
25yearsmlc thank you so much for going into so much detail this is really helping me matt777 thank you too infact everyone who got back to me is giving me the help I really need
25yearmic has hit pretty much everything on the head I do want to change and make these changes for me but right now I was hoping that the changes would be enough how wrong I was and thinking about it I can see how I would be wrong to even think she would change so not quite sure why I kept on
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
I know my w feels cramped right now she is looking for space she has told me and also her actions show this it is just hard to give space when part of what led us to this point was me not spending enough time with her but need to listen it just feels the more I let go the further she goes but then the more I ask and push the further she runs !
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Matt777 So if my wife's love language is acts of service and me showing my love to her by doing things for her should I not be trying to do this now or do I give her the space that she asks for
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Trying to fill her love tank with acts of service right now only looks like pursuing. The relationship dynamics have changed so it wont work. In the future you may be able to sneak some in covertly, but there's a time and place for everything.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Trying to fill her love tank with acts of service right now only looks like pursuing. The relationship dynamics have changed so it wont work. In the future you may be able to sneak some in covertly, but there's a time and place for everything.
Right. But you have kids right - show how you love them through acts of service. You have family, right? Same. It all gets filtered back to her.
I do have family I have 4 kids 3 older ones and one 2 year old
I will give her the space that she needs and focus on being the best father that I can
She has already told me that now my job is being a good father not being there for her
Going back to some of the other posts I have written to her a couple of times letting her know how sorry I am I know I do not need to keep telling her this ...she knows
So to check I have this right
1) give her space 2) do as much for our children especially the youngest she is beautiful and I am really already starting to form a much better bond with her and this is something I want to do for me 3) gal 4)No more Questions to her about the past and no more saying sorry she knows how sorry I am. Thank you all Gary
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
I do have family I have 4 kids 3 older ones and one 2 year old
I will give her the space that she needs and focus on being the best father that I can
She has already told me that now my job is being a good father not being there for her
Going back to some of the other posts I have written to her a couple of times letting her know how sorry I am I know I do not need to keep telling her this ...she knows
So to check I have this right
1) give her space 2) do as much for our children especially the youngest she is beautiful and I am really already starting to form a much better bond with her and this is something I want to do for me 3) gal 4)No more Questions to her about the past and no more saying sorry she knows how sorry I am. Thank you all Gary
This is a start.
What other qualities do you want to change? Eat better? Be less critical? Be more positive? Be less controlling? Etc etc etc.
Well defiantly eat better loosing weight has never been so easy I have already lost over 1,5 stone I am about 3 stone over weight so this will be my first goal. Perhaps less controlling I did not think I was but my wife did mention this during one of our conversations
I want to dress better I have grown my nails I used to bite them all the time
I know right now it feels that there is nothing I cannot do because everything else seems easy compared to my current position does this make sence
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
