Lost & confused

[Clairee]

I guess I should've added that the article I read talked about men with clinical depression ignore the symptoms & tend to selfmedicate. Alcohol, drugs, risky behavior, affairs, etc. As a way to escape the pain they feel. Since about January, H has been drinking more. A lot more. Before leaving for Cali, he would have a few beers. Since January, he's gotten knock down drunk more times than I can count & drinking everyday. He started being more reckless on the motorcycle. Taking bigger risks while riding. When he couldn't ride or couldn't go out with friends, he slept. He slept a lot during the day but had trouble sleeping at night. Everyday for weeks he was napping all day long. He got to playing video games all night. He hasn't done that since our 1st kid was born. Basically if he was standing still too long, he would sleep or drink. As I sit & analyze the last several months, I'm beginning to think he may be suffering from severe depression. And everything he has done was a way to avoid & escape his feelings. But he had guilt, so that's when I became the bad guy, the one to blame for how he felt.

My H is stubborn as a mule. He might admit & accept having depression but he'll cut his arm off with a butter knife before taking medication for it.

What should I do? I think the MC we will be seeing could help him if he were to talk about it honestly. But I'm afraid bringing it up could cause us to fight or him to start pulling back again.