Ok so this is the current situation that I am in ...how do I stop talking to my recently separated wife about the past and how do I stop telling her how sorry I am and how do I stop trying to convince her to try again I know it is now starting to make her cross and she thinks all I am trying to do is wear her down and that I do not listen to her
You just stop. Maybe I don't understand your question, but just STOP doing it. It takes a lot of self control, but it's so important. You said you were sorry. She knows you're sorry. Imagine how annoying it is for your kid to ask "are we there yet?" Every 5 minutes of a car ride...
Originally Posted By: Ghost56
She tells me that I was not their for her during the marriage and now it is too little too late she says I am crowding her
Read the 37 rules again and again. They're there for a reason!
Originally Posted By: Ghost56
I did not do my share of the house work and now I am doing my share and then some she says it does not matter to her any more.
That's because it isn't about the HOUSEWORK. It's about her feeling loved by you performing acts of service to her. She wants you to show your love by doing things for other people. She doesn't care about the dirty dish; she cares that you showed her your love for her by cleaning the dirty dish.
Originally Posted By: Ghost56
I thought that if I was doing more with the kids and more with the house work ...the things that she wanted during the marriage then this would or might make her believe in me and open up to working things out
It might. But not if you say or act like "look honey! I'm doing the dishes, just like you asked!" This process is for YOU! You need to identify the changes you want to make in you and do them for you. If you do exactly the things your W wants, it just won't stick. Isn't that what happened last time?
Originally Posted By: Ghost56
We still live in same house and generally we do get along but I always find myself saying to her can I ask you something ....and then this usually leads to me trying to make things right and discuss what went wrong I just need to stop but I always seem to be finding my way back to this point.
Somehow I have to stop but am struggling to distance myself from her
