Heading toward affair- what to do?

[hopeOK]

Should I email this to my H? Should I draw the line that any relationship outside of work w/ the OW is not acceptable to me?

No, no emails. Get DEFINITIVE, 100% proof first, and then confront him in person (rehearsing ahead of time, out loud while alone if you have to), and then you can follow THAT up with an email to clarify any points you feel need clarifying after the confrontation, or add anything you forgot to address.

And yes, continued contact with an affair partner without the consent of the betrayed spouse is absolutely a continuation of the affair. It's a betrayal.


Starsky

Proof of an actual affair? I have proof that they are in communication but I don't want to reveal my recordings in case it goes further & I can get more info. So I guess I am not sure how to proceed meanwhile. He is picking up on something ... Last night when I got into bed I had my phone on & he quickly moved towards me to get to where he could see what I was doing on my phone & said "what are you doing??" I was just looking at fb so I said- "looking at fb... Is that interesting?"

I really feel like he has me where he wants me... He is able to go back to his private ways, have a relationship w/ this other woman (I think friends now but he probably hopes to work his way back in), & keep the family unit in tact. And he has me in a position of me screwing up... So he feels like he can do whatever he wants.

I am a stay at home mom ... So this makes it easier for him to depend on my staying put.