I think the spot of not really knowing if something is going on & having them not commit 100% to working on the relationship makes things incredibly difficult. It is a mystery what is motivating the things they say. I feel for you- in a similar spot.
Starsky- I could use some advice from you re my situation if you have time. You seem to have a lot of expertise in the area of cheating.
T: 14 M: 12 D: 9 S: 6 BD: 2/18/15 (H affair) Working on marriage: 3/12/15-6/11/15 Broken Trust (my error): 6/11/15 H ring off: 7/6/15; Comm w/ OW confirmed 7/13/15 H wants to work on fixing things: 7/21/15