I am not doing so well. I have been busy, organizing some paperwork. Trying to get things ready to detangle my life from H's life. I also packed some of his stuff already.
But it all very painful. Have been crying sometimes. It's hard to face with the fact that your long marriage is over.
Unfortunately, I need to face it and finally move on. I don't know if I did all what I could. But I also understand that my H was very decided to end the M.
I just wish I could open my heart and take out everything I still feel for him.
I guess one day it will be gone or at least will be easier.
I am not depressed, nervous. I am sad. And I need to deal with the rejection, betrayal. This is being very hard to deal with.
I did not hear from H since last thursday, maybe its better. It is just the way it should be from now on.
I am sad he did not talk to the kids or see them for three weeks already It's ashame he does not care much for them. I wish he would be a little more caring and worry with the fact that they are too going through this hard time.
But it's his choice and I can not control it. It all on him now.
O don't know what to do next time I need to talk with him. And there will be plenty in the next few days since we need to close accounts, get some stuff in my name or his.
Part of me just want to let go and then what do I care. But part of me wants to continue trying to DB. So, I don't know what to do now.
I feel that the right thing to do is to think and accept it's done forever and he won't come back ever.
I need time to let go. The grieving is very painful and deep.
