Separated...and working on it

[Fogg]

Diana, sorry about the colds and how stressful Europe was. Hope you at least had some enjoyment from the trip while helping the family.

I think he really is trying to make an effort. He has downloaded a copy of the 5 Love Languages. I told him that he needed to learn how to speak my love language and keep my love tank full and that I would try to do the same for him.

Yes, I do see him trying to make an effort with what you have said, be patient. You stated you think your LL is words in another part of the post, have either of you taken the online test to see? I wouldn't help trying to speak a LL by either of you if you still don't know each others. The test only take a few minutes and gives you a good idea of what two are your main LL's. Not sure I would push this right now if things are getting strained again. You might just want to STFU for a while and let him figure things out. You putting pressure on him is going to make him run. Patience.

Not really sure if anyone is listening.

Yes, people are here listening Sometimes it just takes time to catch up and notice others threads when we get consumed in our own.

If he wants me in his life like he says he does, why does he not make more of an effort? I know I should be happy that we are"together", that he tells me he loves me every day.

Honestly, I'm a bit confused. I see so many examples of the effort hes putting in over your last few posts but it doesn't seem to be enough. If hes distancing himself from you(even as hes going on bike rides and dates out to dinner?) maybe your pursuing him too much. I think its possible your expecting too much from him too fast, give him time. I wish my W told me she loves me again and made any type of effort to rebuild our M. Slow down Diana, take a deep breath.

Last MC session he said he wanted our marriage to work and that we have a great bond, now he's not so sure anymore what he wants. I really need to learn to STFU.

Give him time and space, don't put so much pressure. You have some great things happening but I think you want too much too fast. I understand there is pain and resentment but you have to look past that and what you really want in the future. If you want your M to have a chance to be rebuilt you have to look at this like a marathon and not a sprint.

Patience, patience, patience